The Fickle Abstainer

Guy calls girl after 6 weeks of dating:

Guy: Yeah, so I’ve been thinking… I’m going to start going back to Church, I don’t feel okay with what we’re doing. We can still see each other… But we can’t have sex anymore.

Girl: Wait, what? I don’t … where is this coming from?

Guy: Yeah I just realized that I’m really not okay with it; it isn’t right. I’m sorry.

Girl: But we’ve already slept together! A lot! And you realize how shitty this makes me feel about my sexual prowess if you just randomly decide to break up with me for Jesus.

Guy: No, I’m not breaking up with you. We just have to stop having sex.

Girl: Who ARE you? How would that ever possibly work?

Guy: …

Girl: Hangs up

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