Sometimes we singles get caught up in the moment and imagine a suitor to be better than they actually are. We want to love and nurture the men that come into our lives, even if they have rather glaring problems. Enter: hot Swedish photographer.
Despite the fact that I knew this guy had a reputation of partying, drugging, etc. I was charmed by his exciting life and sexy style. He was an extremely talented photographer and art director, international and fascinating.
Plus, he had told me he was “recently sober” from a pattern of recreational coke use. I knew he had been pretty actively into “recreational coke use” but was regardless, enchanted. So anyway, we ended up hanging out together one night at a series of parties downtown, and later wound up back at his apartment where we laughed and listened to music before hooking up until the sun came up and sleeping until noon. The awesome thing- for anyone who’s wondering- is that a man recently off some sort of drug LOVES having sex. It’s like they are alive again, which is hot…in the moment.
The next day I told a gay guy friend of mine about the liaison, and he hit me with the cold hard truth- “He has been sober from coke from two days??? HA! Then he is NOT sober.” Hm. Right… I decided we’d see how it would play out.
It was only a matter of weeks before I heard he was back on coke, partying like always, which made me feel really relieved nothing more had happened. No matter how much you want to “save” a man, you can’t cure them of a problem they don’t want to cure themselves…
Moral of the story- if a guy tells you he has been sober from anything (cocaine, booze, pills, et al.) for two days, he IS NOT SOBER. No matter how cute, sexy or fabulous he is. Don’t buy it! Number two, listen to your gay boyfren. He knows!
Xo SFAR