I used to think lovely weekends away would come to me when I had a significant other in my life. As independent of a woman as I am, for some reason I associated that joyful ritual (hotel stays, destination overnights) as being something that would happen with a partner. Perhaps on some level as a woman, I had instilled that one day having a partner would help *make* that dream come true- he would logistically make that experience come true. How old fashioned. How did I let that narrative seep into my mind state?
I’m embarrassed admitting it. But I was sort of waiting for someone to lead me on vacation, encourage me to take the time off, romance me.
None of the men who have come or gone in the past couple years were going to make that dream happen. So I did it for myself. Started dreaming up destinations, adventures, and making them come true. And let me tell you, it’s been *very* enjoyable traveling on my own! Meeting up with beautiful friends, exploring new spaces, expanding.
In reality, a night or two away to a lovely location is totally manageable on my own. Even a cleverly planned jaunt abroad, has worked beautifully. It took a bit of time to get my earning up to a comfortable place to be able to afford vacations, but I’ve made it. And it’s been extraordinary.
Most recently? Cue- Palm Springs. I picked a hotel, planned a fun day for myself driving out to the desert, grabbed my fluffy companion rescue dog and hit the road. On the second evening I made plans to join one of my gay best friends and his friends for a pool party. For the beginning and tail end of the trip, I was on my own and loving the freedom.
Enjoying a beautiful hotel and surrounding settings by myself has allowed me to grow immensely. It’s allowed room for me to think creatively. To feel inspired, curious and present. It’s forced me to rely on no-one but myself.
These trips don’t necessarily mean isolation- there’s a lot of living to do, including time with old and new friends. But the quiet, those moments alone in the hotel or in the car, they are rejuvenating for me.
My entire life I’ve done brave things on my own- going off to college, studying abroad, moving to new cities. But in my mind, I blocked this sort of enjoyment off in the realm of fantasy. I naively fell to societal messages about what a weekend getaway would be made of. I’ve self-corrected, adjusted my mirrors and am full steam ahead enjoying the life and the weekends my heart desires. I’m proud of this version of myself. She is so fabulous, fearless, and focused.
Come and go as you please. Eat when you feel like it, relax at your preference. Take a workout class solo, lounge in bed ordering room service. Order the glass of wine, skip the glass of wine. What feels best to YOU?
Choose your own destiny- then create it, and rejoice!!