VIDEO: Jon Stewart Rips Congress’ All-Male Birth Control Panel

Posted on 21/02/2012 by admin

An all-male hearing which took place before Congress last week sought to uncover new facts and opinions regarding the contraception debate. Unfortunately, that debate involved no women and a panel of witnesses that looked something similar to men disembarking from the Mayflower. While we speak in jest, our disgust with the current contraception debate in our country is SKY-HIGH. More posts about that will be coming soon, so keep your eyes open.

In addition to women’s organizations and/or comedians (smart people NOT trying to control women’s bodies) have taken to the airwaves to blast their discontent. Enjoy this video from our friend Jon Stewart.

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CNBC’s How to Date a Banker

Posted on 17/02/2012 by admin

We recently came across this fine piece of journalism from the folks over at CNBC which gives advice to women on how to date Wall Street guys. While we have a staunch opinion on the matter (DON’T DO IT),  dating “expert”/ Wall Street f*cker Samantha Daniels does not agree and has “spent the better part of 12 years learning all of their habits.” Wow, what a use of time. We thought we’d share few gems from Ms. Daniels with our own commentary included in italics.

– “Be sexy. Wall Street men tend to like women who are attractive and that other men notice when they walk in the room.”

Last time we checked, most men like attractive women- and most women like attractive men, it’s kind of the way us humans work. Great piece of advice, Samantha, we’ll have to try this “sexy” concept you speak of. Innovative.

– “Tell stories that are short and sweet because the mind of a Wall Street man is always moving so rapidly and focusing on so many different things that his attention span for social stories is very short.”

Read: Shut your mouth and let him do all the talking. Yes, this is how all great relationships start- with 30 second stories about your life that the guy probably won’t remember in an hour because he actually wasn’t listening at all. 

– “While a Wall Street man tends to like a little bit of a challenge when it comes to dating, he still likes things to be convenient and easy for him. A lot of women think that if they play hard to get, they will land a Wall Street man….you need to be accommodating or his schedule and time constraints or he will get frustrated and find another woman.”

This is also why Wall Street men love prostitutes. 

– “Don’t get upset if your Wall Street guy isn’t as romantic as you would like him to be. Men, by nature are never as romantic as women want them to be, but Wall Street men especially are very business-like and think practically not romantically.”

Yes, that is evident by e-mails like this one, written in the style of a cover letter, and this one in which the guy tells a woman she “Performed well during the onboarding process [of our relationship].”

In the spirit of Ms. Daniels’ advice, we thought we’d add a few more points to her list:

1. Don’t have high expectations in the “size” department. Many Wall Street men are insecure about something- often the size of their dick, so be prepared for a teeny weenie.

2. Get comfortable with cocaine, because you will probably be seeing alot of it.

3. Get comfortable being alone, because Wall Street men are frequently not available. Whether out of the apartment before you’re even awake, out late at client dinners OR getting a much-needed massage, you won’t be seeing a lot of him, so get used to it.

4. Be prepared for an extreme amount of chauvinism, macho-ism, and fraternity-style behavior. These guys are wannabe alpha males. Don’t expect him to be looking for your POV on much of anything.

5. If he doesn’t have a teenie weenie, be prepared that due to all of the stress in his life, he may not be able to get that weenie in action or be keep it under control. Translation: there’s a significant chance he can’t get it up, or is a sex addict. We hate being right here, but we speak from experience.

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Broken Heart Graffiti

Posted on 16/02/2012 by admin

We did not create this public art, but we do quite enjoy it.

Xo

SFAR

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A Letter from SFAR on Gal-entine’s Day

Posted on 14/02/2012 by admin

Since SFAR is a blog dedicated to sharing stories of the single life, it’s only fitting that we have thought a lot about what to say on the subject of Valentine’s Day. Yes, Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday that really holds no significance. It is also, however, the fastest way to split the American population into two camps: Single and In a Relationship. It also creates anxiety and questions like “Why am I single?”. You might be tempted to feel down about your single status today, but here are some alternative things to do today that will turn that frown upside down:

– Turn up the jams. Music has been scientifically proven to elevate moods, and what better way to love your single self than by listening to your favorite music? Whether on your ipod, radio, computer or stereo at home, pump those jams and dance it out.

– Rearrange your room or apartment. Turn on some of your favorite music and embrace the uplifting effect of decorating! Seriously, it can really change your perspective and let you fall in love with your space. Buy flowers and put them in a vase in your room. Flowers always lift spirits and make a space even lovelier.

– Break out your favorite comedy films. We love to laugh, and since you’re reading this blog, we’re guessing you do too. What better night than to kick back with a beloved comedy- either one you love or haven’t seen before but have been meaning to. Just make sure it isn’t some lame rom-com.

– Work out. The endorphins from working out will boost your energy, and the jamz you choose (our personal choice: “Pretty Girl Rock” or anything by Pink) will make you feel great! A dance class or other aerobic class can be a great option too. If there’s not one nearby, dance in your room!

– Watch an episode of Hoarders or Toddlers in Tiaras. This will make you feel much better about your life, even if you are on your couch with a bottle of wine or a box of cookies, just remember you could be in this situation:

– Go get drunk with your girlfriends. This is one of the few free passes you have all year to go get hammered on a weeknight. So grab some single ladies, go to a bar, and get your drink on. WARNING: If you are a drunk crier and just got out of a relationship, this miiight not be the best option. And choose your venue carefully. The last thing you need is to find yourself surrounded by single douche bags.

– Get off. Let us modify that statement, since we only advocate safe sex. Practice the safest form of sex around… the sex you have with yourself. We could make a joke about stocking up on batteries, but we’re not so crude. Whatever your style, love yourself today.

– Phone date with a friend. In this modern area we all have someone we love living far away. Use tonight to call that person and tell them how much you LOVE them. Catch up on life and make plans to see each other in the near future. Whatever you do, use the phone conversation to connect and feel great. Share recent developments or goals you are working toward. Leave the whining about being single for someone less amazing than you!

– Email your BFFs + family. I have personally sent 10 e-cards today to the people I love the most in my life. My sister, my parents, my best friends. And you know what? It feels great telling them how much I love them and the good times we have. Valentine’s Day is not only for lovers, but for loved ones. Use this opportunity to let the people in your life know you love them. There are many forms of intimacy, not just sex. Share it with your closest friends and family. Paperless Post has a ton of adorable free e-cards you can personalize and send to your nearest and dearest. Check em out!

– Enjoy the inner peace of knowing your life is not constrained by the ball and chain of a DOUCHE BAG guy. Being in a relationship is great. Until it’s not. Trust us on that one. As much as it can be easy to look at people in a relationship and think ‘why isn’t that me?’ step back and realize that relationships are a lot more complicated and often conflicted than appears on the surface. Many of the people you see out celebrating today are just doing it because of the Hallmark expectation society imposes. On the day to day, the majority of relationships are extremely imperfect. Smile to yourself knowing that you don’t have to deal with any of that drama.

Whatever you end up doing today, know that we adore you. Focus on the love you have in your life, and feel happy knowing that this moment is part of your path. We love you and celebrate YOU today!

Xo

SFAR

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First Crush: A Study in Taffeta and Vomit

Posted on 14/02/2012 by admin

When I was six years old and in the 1st grade, I developed my first real crush. His name was Max and I thought he was God’s gift to the earth. Though my adoration was strong, I didn’t confess my feelings to him as we learned to tie our shoes, played dress up, and took naps on our respective mats. I was dying to impress him, and as the awards ceremony for my school’s annual “Reading Week” approached, I knew this would be the perfect chance to shine. I had picked up reading rather quickly and was entered in a contest where, if I won, I would get to saunter down the auditorium aisle and collect my prize.

So, as the big day approached, I agonized over my outfit, which Mary Janes to wear, and which bow I would affix to my white-blonde bob. Finally deciding on a black taffeta velvet number with colorful flowers adorning the beltline, some simple black Mary Janes and my best pair of frilly socks, I woke up the morning of ready to BRING IT.

Unfortunately, I also woke up with a terrible stomach ache. In denial, I continued with the day as if everything were normal, and didn’t tell my mom or my teacher that I felt sick. Finally, it was time to go to the auditorium for the awards. My class lined up in height order (great way to instill confidence, asshole teachers of the 90s) and made our way to the auditorium. Oh happy day! My crush, also being a little nugget, was standing next to me in line, meaning we would also be sitting next to each other for the entire awards ceremony.

My stomach, already churning, was not helped by the extreme nerves I had being this close to my love. As we sat down, I started to overheat. As a six year old, I thought I could hold down the vomit for just a few more minutes- the 1st grade awards were almost up!

But no, before I could get up and run to the ladies room, it came up. I sat in my chair vomiting into my own lap as my crush looked on in horror, my teacher let out a yelp and came and dragged me by the arm to my classroom, yelling at me for not telling her I felt sick. This sparked the tears, only encouraged by my extreme embarrassment and dismay that my big moment had gone terribly wrong.

After the incident I avoided Max. Although I heard he had been concerned about me and even asked me to sit with him at his table at lunch a couple of weeks later, I was just too embarrassed to ever think he could like me. Eventually he moved to the next town over, and now he pops up on my facebook feed occasionally (ah the joys of the Internet).

So, if you are single on this Valentine’s Day, just be happy you’re not throwing up on your favorite dress with the man of your dreams seated by your side. Or, at least I really hope you’re not.

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Song of the Day: I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Posted on 12/02/2012 by admin

Song of the Day: I Wanna Dance With Somebody, by Whitney Houston

Wow we are sad about the death of Whitney Houston. She was such a musical angel. We commemorate her through her music. Prayers for her daughter, Bobbi Kristina.

Xo

SFAR

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