As women, the quest to find a mate is becoming an ever the more difficult road. While many of us seek to find a genuine, honest mate that will serve as a trustworthy and devoted partner, the path can sometimes feel like a minefield full of charlatans. You read that right: charlatans. The term came to mind recently when reading Jill Di Donato’s article “Commitment Phobia: Why Men Disappear.” Her article explores the “Casper effect”, a scenario where a man of significance in a woman’s life suddenly “poofs!” out of sight and into obscurity, never to be heard from again. Having a significant other disappear from your life is heartbreaking, particularly when it is someone of substance, someone you really care about and have a connection with. It is extremely painful, not to mention confusing. The Casper Effect, or The Disappearing Act as we like to call it, causes women to ask themselves all sorts of questions like, “what happened?”, “was it me?”, “is there someone else?”, “was it all a lie?”, “did I know him at all?” and a myriad of other mind-numbing inquiries. For this reason, men who pull a Casper truly embody the term charlatan, and we want to provide a few tips for how to avoid and deflect such suitors. Continue reading →
Breaking Up is Easier For Some
My live-in boyfriend and I were having the relationship discussion to end all others. One year into our time together, we had hit the end. It was over. And reluctantly, we both accepted it. Crying into each other’s arms about how much we loved each other, but just couldn’t go on with the stress and the fighting and the pressure of our combined living situation and general relationship. We blew our noses, wiped the tears from our faces and laid there holding each other for a little while. It was nice and helped to bring closure to something that felt very painful for each of us. He excused himself to go out on the front porch and smoke a cigarette very upset. I got ready for bed and looked over at my phone, which was blinking with a text message…from him? It read:
“Success!! She agreed to move out!”
A misdirected text I will never forget. The long story short is, we never spoke again.
SFAR