We have recently become obsessed with the website What Should We Call Me, and in honor of this new fixation I’ve decided to tell the story of my typical date in New York City by using only reality show GIFs.
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When a guy texts me to ask me out, inside I’m like:
But on the outside, I’m all “That’s right, another date. Jealous?”
When it’s time to get ready, I fly into action, taking care of the necessities.
Next step: outfit. If my friends come in and ask what I’m wearing while I’m trying to decide, I’m like:
And then I get a little help with hair and makeup:
More after the jump…
One final touch (and one glass of wine) and I’m ready to go!
If someone asks me why I’m wearing so much makeup, I’m like:
Ok, ready to strut my stuff.
I roll up to the restaurant and find some variation of this sitting there:
He tells me all about work, his job at some bank, and how much his boss sucks.
Then he tells me some weird facts about himself:
And makes some attempts to flirt:
When he asks what I want to order, I reply:
We also order some food, at which point I just eat and smile, comme ca:
But if he tries to steal I bite, I’m like:
Quickly I realize he’s a dud, and in my mind I’m like ugh:
Yet he keeps talking about boring shit, so I’m like MORE WINE
When I offer to pay, he sometimes accepts my offer, and I’m like:
After dinner, he offers to split a cab home, tries to grope me in the cab and I’m all:
He asks if I want to come up to his apartment, and I’m like:
Finally I get home to my own, comfortable bed…
When my mom asks me how my date went, I’m like:
And when he texts me to ask me on a second date, I’m all:
But, I trudge on like a good soldier and continue to accept dates from other guys, because:
The end.