Donkey Dick/ Horse Pat

Scene: Lower East Side rockers bar, the one where Lady Gaga’s boyfriend is the bartender (read: Bros/ Wallstreeters are not allowed)

I’m sitting at the bar with a couple of friends. Above the bar there is a sign on the wall that reads: “Donkey Shot- tequila and a corona for $7.”

Suddenly, a group of drunk bros who are completely out of place at this bar come up behind us and yell to the girl bartender ”Hey, give us 4 donkey dicks” (note: The word ‘dick’ was nowhere on the sign). Two of the four come from the back and exclaim: “Guys I have just found FOUR girls in the back and there are FOUR of us!!!!!”

The wrangler of the group looks skeptical and responds, ”I will only go back there if it is confirmed that there actually ARE four girls and they are ALL drinking.” It was confirmed, so the group migrated towards the real girls who were in fact imbibing. My friend and I proceed to casually follow the guys to the back of the bar, as we feel like this scene needs to be witnessed.

One of the guys decided to first stop and try to hit on the go-go girl by treating her like a stripper and trying to offer her crinkled dollar bills. He saw that this was not fruitful so he moved on to the group of four girls. He would come up to them and start talking to them. After approximately 60 seconds he would grab them by their necks to try to make out with them.

Of course the girls ran away from him but as each girl would run away he would pat her on the upper leg like a horse. Goodbye old girl!!