Boo! I’m your date, and I’m an asshole.

I met a guy downtown one Saturday night and was excited to learn we’d both gone to college in Boston. It was a fun scene with good music, so we chatted. When I’d decided it was late and time for me to go home, he walked me out to the street. I didn’t realize how drunk he was until he tried to make out with my face and throw himself in the cab with me. I pushed him away, laughed it off and said, see you again.

The next day he sent me a Facebook request and texted me to see if I wanted to have dinner. I wasn’t sure I could pick him out of a three person line-up, but thought it was a nice invite and accepted the invitation.

When we went to dinner, I could tell pretty quickly we didn’t have “the spark”, but we were already seated, and he seemed interesting enough. It didn’t take me long to figure out that he was a total ego-maniac.

It was a couple weeks after Halloween, so I asked him what he had done to celebrate and whether he’d dressed up. The conversation went like this:

Me: What did you do for Halloween? Did you celebrate and dress up?

Him: Yeah, I dressed up and totally raged.

Me: What did you dress up as?

Him: The ghost of girlfriend’s past.

Me: Oh, like the movie? How did you dress for that character? (I was imagining maybe he dressed up like Matthew McConoughey. The tux?)

Him: I took a white bed sheet, and wore that like a ghost. And all over it I attached pictures of my ex girlfriends. It was awesome.

Me: Wow.

I took a large gulp of water and ordered my dinner. Now, it should be said that this guy was extremely good looking, had grown up in the southern US and was for the most part very well-mannered. Or so it seemed. During the conversation, he went on to talk about himself nonstop, about going to Harvard, his big-egoed inspirations and how he wanted to run for political office one day. That was of great interest to me, being from Washington, but that didn’t get very far. He just wanted to talk about himself. The next and final conversation went like this:

Me: I noticed we have a couple of mutual friends on Facebook.

Him: Yeah, small world huh?

Me: I couldn’t believe Brittany was a mutual acquaintence! She was one of my best friends in middle school- I haven’t seen her in years. How do you know her?

Him: Oh…yeah (he smirked) we dated for awhile in the city last summer. It wasn’t really serious- we worked at the same law firm together.

Me: Oh? That’s nice.

Him: Her picture was on the bed sheet.

End of Story. SFAR