Warning: Verbal Masturbation Causes Phlegm

Scene: Manhattan bar.

I’m visiting a fellow alum who happens to be a successful banker. We go out with some of her colleagues, and at the bar a 40-something year old man starts talking to my friends and I. Of course I continue to talk to him as he seems fairly depressed that the rest of the women in our group immediately left once he opened his mouth.

Anyway, he talks all about himself: his amazing real-estate job, how much money he makes.  I sit there, listening to him verbally masturbate for about 20 minutes, until he finally asks me what I’m doing with my life. I explain that I’m working in a lab and trying to get my ass into medical school because I want to be a surgeon. He laughs condescendingly and pats me on the knee.

To make things worse he gives me a long lecture about how the sexual/gender revolution is over, blah blah blah.  He ends this with “So. Why does a cute little girl like you want to be a surgeon?”. I pretty much lost it at this point, and appropriately told him off saying, “Oh you know, so I can cut off your BALLS.” Silence. I get up to leave, and in a last attempt to hold my attention, he yells after me: “I HAVE PHLEGM. Do you know if I’m going to die?”.

SFAR.

Lots of love from Florida!